Q:What's wrong with Banksy?
i have to go to lawrence and finish moving in like. idk, as soon as my dad gets home, which could be any minute now or an hr from now. i really dont want to and ive been a trash baby for like the past day and a half. i overslept (but only by like twenty minutes) and was late for work and it was the first time i met the new manager and i was late. im just now drinking my first cup of coffee. when i got home i had to get fake fbi ransomware off of jordan’s computer because she was freaking out cause she thought she was going to be arrested and her boyfriend, whos a programmer, is probably never going to let her live it down.
im going to be Difficult and just. shitty the whole time we’re in lawrence and i just feel so bad bc i hate doing that to my dad. i hate that its going to take us longer than it should or than he’ll want and im an Inconvenience and a nuisance and its too much to expect from him. he’s like, “let me worry about that” and im just like, but dad. i am . so good at worry.
someone pls give me a pep talk or something. i cant believe that i am stuck in IT support hell forever no matter what, and i cant deal w/ how !!! im gonna be while moving stuff.
i forgot to tell ppl when i work tomorrow/today, so now im terrified that if i go to sleep no one will wake me up and ill miss work.
im really sorry everyone. i know i have like. bad thoughts. about the gay things. these things vex me in the way that the library of congress call number system does. persistently, on a low level, in uninteresting and trivial ways that bore and irritate friends and strangers alike.
i hate that view tbh it’s so… essentialist. no one who has ever been involved with a person could come to identify with being involved with a different kind of person. You Are One Thing, Have Always Been That Thing, Will Always Be That Thing
yeah. like. while im v v much the same person i was when i was sixteen, eighteen, twenty — i’m also a very very very different person, who’s attracted to different people than i was six or four years ago, to different qualities, in different ways. i am large i contain multitudes blah blah etc.
i guess i wish instead of focusing on rehabilitating bisexual-as-a-word, which is a thing i think some ppl do? allow me to be vague some more?, there was a focus on creating a better vocabulary. one that, like jinah pointed out bi/pan sort of is, is less terribly clinical, and one that doesn’t cast gender and sexuality as constants in a person’s life. which is, i guess, why queer is so useful and also i just like it.
what if the bug got INSIDE MY LAPTOP?????
i thought i saw a bug crawling on my blanket but im not sure. does that happen to anyone else. where they’re like, ok i totally saw said insect. but now its two seconds later and ive flailed a little and now i see no insect, i have moved things and vigorously shaken all of my clothing and turned my computer about and yet no insect — was the insect ever there?? where is it hiding in my bed???? is it on me right now
im such a huge baby about bugs. i had to kill spiders by myself when i was at my apt (which they were like, big spiders, and i know i shouldnt kill spiders but they were really big and im a baby and i cant deal) and this would involve a lot of crying and throwing things at the wall and calling people at like two in the morning so i could cry about spiders (sorry odessa). i already made my dad get rid of a house spider for me this morning.
I dont like them either I just think they sound clinical and ugly and I hate how definitive they are…..thats why I like queer
yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. like, bi/pansexual is just a riff off of homosexual, which defs is clinical in nature. queer is my fave, queer is the best. or supergay. “whats yr sexuality?” “supergay. like, ultra gay. like u know when the power rangers like, combine their powers and have an ultimate form or whatever which i think is a thing that happens, thats it.”
i really dislike ‘bisexual’ and it doesn’t feel like something that includes or applies to me at all. possibly also because the concept of knowing the gender of everyone i’m attracted to also seems a bit unlikely
yes, yes also. like, w/r/t the response some ppl have re: the critique that bisexual is sort of limiting in that it implies attraction to just like, binary men/women i think ive seen some stuff being like, well it just means two genders, so it could be like, u like women & agender ppl or something. and im like, man, what even is a gender. (or i could be totally misremembering something.) it supposes that i’d kno like, my own gender all the time too, which is a thing that i have been Less Certain about lately. let alone the gender of everyone im ever attracted to.
idk. idk. idk. i feel so bad about disliking “bisexual” so much, because a lot of the like, use of it i see and shit is to highlight the fact that ppl ignore parts of fictional or historical ppls like, attraction to/relationships w/ multiple genders, and that like, being in a relationship w/ a person w/ one gender doesn’t invalidate all the relationships youve had w/ people of another gender which is all Good Stuff just. bisexual. pansexual. nnnnn